Breakdown

No NOT me....

Today out of a suddenly at work, i heard sobbing sounds behind me, I turn back to see my cubicle neighbour balling out. I didn't dare go to him and ask.. whats wrong. He sob sob sob.. then he stopped. I then msg him and asked are you ok?

he said he is emo. Just yesterday he told me that he has been diagnosed with chronic depression. When I asked the dr diagnosed you? he said no i told the DR that. On Monday he was on Medical.

I have known him for 3 years, starting off in the same team, he joined like 2 months before me. In year 2006, we had a restructure. Our team was disolved and myself and him was pulled together with my super to our current team. Well, what i believe is that our super pulled u to be with her.

For the past 2 years, life hsn't been easy. Let me tell you why. Coz this is not what both our skills are. Eventho he did have abit of skills in this area, his passion is not this. he likes development work. so being in infra side is just not his forte. He like myself have been asking for a movement for 1 year now and the answer given to the both of us are the same. Which is big flat no.

Today he just couldn't contain it any longer and broke down. Also least to say that my super has been hounding him down... kind of pitiful. But I guess his only way out is to leave if he can't stand it anymore coz staying on isn't gonna change anything.

I hope i don't get to that stage too. I feel what he feels coz you're never good enough.. for that someone... who has authority over you. Its sad sad sad.

Bangkok

As you would have guessed that I went on a vacation over the Deepavali long weekend. I actually had to take one day off but its all worth it. The trip at least and the shopping spree that i did. But i beg to differ about the company though. :P

Let's start from the beginning. During the MATA fair that just passed, I went to get the ground package for the tour. It was also my very first experience of MATA fair. :) Yeah yeah i know.

Anyways, booked the air asia flight and the package which included hotel and hotel transfer.

The hotel is pretty old hence the bed i have to caution, had bed bugs which I had to suffer the bites and till now still have the red scars to show. Hope it will heal soon.

Shopping was excellent but of course when one says one is going to bkk for shopping, its not about the brand or the quality stuff. But i like it... coz i don't care as long as its nice and cheap... :)

Here goes some of the wares which i bought. Some i have already given to the rightful receipients.




Black with White Stripe blouse - bought for RM17 = 170 baht.
Bought at The Platinum Fashion Mall.





















Addidas baggie = RM24 = 240 Baht
Bought at Chatuchak weekend market










RM20 each if buy in wholesale (3 and above) Thats the term used wholesale means 3 or more. I bought the white pattern in peach also. :) Very worth it ya.... RM20 ONLY!!!!












Puff Sleeves white blouse = RM23 = 230 baht.
Bought at Chatuchak Weekend Market. The lady didn't want to reduce the price.. :( just a tiny bit.... But ok lah.

















Shorts - forgot the price, i think it was RM15 or was it RM13?











Tshirts

The light color was purchased for RM19 each when purchased 3 or more. I bought 3 but the grey one has been worn so not in the picture.

The polo one.. is about RM25 - not cheap lah this one but cheaper than the real thing loh.







I want to make another trip there!!!!! maybe next year. But with someone who don't mind walking and taking the sky train rather than wanting to take taxi all the time.

Updates

I haven't been blogging much.
Its much due to laziness and just not wanting to do anything....
Sleeping seems to be like the best remedy.
Scrabulous seems to be the next best remedy. hehee

Brief update
1) Went for vacation over the Deepavali holidays. Came back with severe bed bugs bites. (never ever gonna stay in that stupid hotel again, eventho the location was fab for shopping).
2) made a decision yesterday - will reveal more once I have given it a through thought and an action plan.
3) Search for potential new J has started. hopefully with God's grace something will happen.

Another Sunday ? Dissipating Hope?

As friends of mine know, every sunday I am an early riser. I am up before the sun is up to be in church. Yes.... Its been going on for years.

And also for years there is chap who has been going to church i believe for as long as I have. But long ago, my family used to seat at the front pews. Like the first few 5 or so. But since the new priest came along couple of years back, we have had to move back to the second sections of the pew. Coz this priest uses alot of incense throughout mass and my nose can't take it. I feel suffocated.

So since the last few years, I finally began to notice this chap. I believe he is eurasian. So i was hoping that one day I would have a chance to cross path. Years went by, prayers went unheard. Then for the last 6 months I haven't seen him in church anymore. Until today.

During his absence of the 6 months, his sister has given birth. and today there is baptism for babies. Maybe thats why he came. He did came to mass but alas! with a beautiful chinese girl in tow :)

I don't know this person but only seen from afar but yet I have this tinge of disappointment in my heart. Maybe its more of a feeling of dissipated hope.

Its not easy anticipating the next birthday which is very soon on the way. Not very easy to accept the fact that one is turning older and yet nothing in sight. Years of prayers that doesn't seemed answered. Maybe like they say, every prayer is answered and maybe the answer is a No.

How does one as a Christian , decides to do? Go on praying? give you praying? Still hold hope that God hasn't forsaken one?

Its easy for some ppl of other faith judging Christians. But tell you it isn't easy being a Christian. We have struggles too more so when you are closer to God. If you noticed, alot of people always have this judgemental way of approaching Christian. It aint' an easy journey esp this Spiritual journey. But without hope, is one's life worth living.